negative sunday

im having a bit of a hating life week, it started off crap and didn't get any better. i feel dull, uninspired and lonely. theres only one person i feel like being around, and thats my sister, but shes too busy with school that i hardly get to talk to her. i get all gfhgdgh when im by myself, but i dont want to make plans to see anyone. im awkward around every single one of my friends here, and to be honest im sick of that feeling therefore i dont make plans. i have no one to relax around and just be myself. i made one plan for this week and i got ditched- not trying that again.
arias are on-angus and julia are nominated/performing. not sure how i feel about that. some creeper from work mocked me by saying, and i quote " 'Oh noes, someone who's art I like is becoming successful and is now making money, my life is ruined because I am no longer a unique and beautiful snowflake' " this guy cant go a day without flirting with me, and i just take it because im a nice person, but oh did he cross a line with me. ah this is such a bullshit post, and im not even bothering with correct grammer.
i get butterflies when angus speaks. just decided i find dan saltan is pretty sexy, i think its his dancing. i miss nippies iced coffee, and singing bright eyes with shaemous. mums should never have facebook. a sunday night without offspirng feels like any other night. i want to plant a garden on top of my roof. sunny is a pretty name for a girl, but will always remind me of a prostitute from new york. i would spend all day every day watching julia dance in her beautiful dresses if i could. fireworks remind me of when i caught on fire when i was little and my mum put me out with her bare hands. i dont understand why adults have to involve sex in jokes they tell, its boring and unimaginative. gay people are more interesting, i want to have a drag party sometime. maroon is a pretty nice colour. sia makes me want to wear plastic tape dresses and wear no make up, her little kid voice and smile makes me want to build sandcastles in a playground with her. my mind does this thing where the first thing i think of is the worst posible outcome in everyday situations, each day ive pictured fellow empoyees dying in horrific freak accidents like the lift dropping when they stand inside and their body being slammed against the roof of the lift so hard that every bone in their body breaks, when im driving home i think of turning into my drive way only to notice my house has been burnt to the ground, when i wake up in the morning and its quiet the first thought that comes to my head is that my family have all left me- just then i pictured my tv falling on my cat. eh. a storm is nearly here, so goodnight.
ps. at the start of this post i was unsure about how i felt about angus and julia being nominated for the arias. after seeing them just win best album and single of the year and hearing their speech, i couldnt be anymore proud of them. they brought tears to my eyes for the millionth time.